Deep Fried Butter: A Pinnacle of Human Ingenuity?!
Happy National Eat What You Want Day! How do you celebrate that? By eating whatever you want, DUH! Oh, you do that anyways? So do we…
Humans have come a long way in recent history. From the first airplane to space tourism with Blue Origin, SpaceX, and Virgin Galactic. From the first computer to Dogecoin, CatCoin, and PooCoin. From butter to buttered toast, croissants, and deep fried butter. Wait, what?! That’s madness! But of course, there’s only a thin line between genius and madness. So let’s dive into insane carnival foods that straddle that line.
On A Stick
Madness Level: Doc Brown
Let’s start off tame and explore some “on a stick” foods. When you’re walking around a carnival, it makes sense for your food to be on a stick. And how crazy can food on a stick be? There’s the quintessential corndog which has been kicking ass and taking names since the early 1900s. This staple has since been leveled up in the form of Korean corndog which combines sausage AND cheese AND covers it with potatoes (AND then dips it in sugar)! Folks took portability of corndogs to heart and came up with the likes of Chicken and Waffles on a Stick and Spaghetti and Meatballs on a Stick, which “Great Scott!” are actually pretty sexy ideas! Things then got a bit gimmicky with the likes of chocolate covered bacon on a stick and chocolate covered banana on a stick (a.k.a. monkey tail on a stick). And then came the meatball sub on a stick and the Italian club sandwich on a stick. Sandwiches are already portable, did they really need to make them more portable by slapping ‘em on a stick? And as all good things must come to an end, on the sad opposite end of the spectrum, someone invented the salad on a stick… Moving on...
Burger
Madness Level: Rick Sanchez
Like we said, sandwiches are pretty portable which makes them another great carnival food. And since we found one source confirming that burgers and hotdogs are indeed classified as sandwiches, we’re going with that. Once upon a time, burgers were just a slice of Salisbury steak inserted lovingly between two slices of bread - simple but delightful! Soon, someone kicked it up a notch with a slice of square yellow cheese. Genius! Things soon went over the top as all kinds of toppings were added ranging from eggs to bacon to avocado to ice cream to all of the above and more. And while you could get crazy burgers in restaurants, the most above and beyond stacks could only be found in the heart of carnivals. However, there’s only so much you can put on a burger (and, boy, was that challenge accepted, alright!) before those poor buns just had to call it quits. And that’s probably when some maniacs eyed up donuts, funnel cakes, and whatever else was being sold in the stall next door, and went “Hold my beer!” #YOLO. That’s probably how we ended up with the Krispy Kreme Ice Cream Chicken Sandwich. What a glorious time we live in!
Deep Fat Fried
Madness Level: This is SPARTA!
You knew it was only a matter of time before we got to the deep fat fried stuff. And you know we’re not talking about fried chicken or fish. We’re talking about the deep fried abominations. There’s no rhyme or reason for this kind of madness, it simply exists. To be fair, it all started relatively tame (“relatively” being the key word). Deep fried Oreos? Sure, and give me a scoop of ice cream while you’re at it! Deep fried Jelly Beans? No, thank you… Deep fried peanut butter-stuffed pickle? AHHH, please stop talking to me!!! Then some carnies went off the rails when it was no longer enough to simply deep fry solid food. First came deep fried jello… Then came deep fried Kool-Aid, pepsi, and beer… Don’t ask us how that even works, we’re sure it’s some kind of ancient sorcery. The unfortunate natural conclusion to this madness, at the extreme end of the spectrum, is the deep fried butter! But don’t worry, you can always throw a bit of healthiness back into the mix with deep fried watermelon.
Hybrids
Madness Level: Elon Musk
Okay, we weren’t desensitized… We’re still saying “WTF” to these final few eldritch “food”. Hot, beef, and sundae should never be uttered in the same sentence for fear of summoning some ancient evil, yet someone in Iowa is proudly hawking the Hot Beef Sundae. Oh, no, we just put those three words in the same sentence twice, we’re sorry for any hauntings we just introduced into your life. Pickles are hit and miss, I actually wasn’t a fan of them growing up. Kool-Aid also straddles the fence. Kids love it. Adults have to pretend not to love it. Someone clearly was not ashamed of their love for both when they concocted the Koolickles. At least those involve combinations of stuff that are FDA approved (probably, maybe…). We’re going to finish off with something that most certainly isn’t approved by any authority (probably, hopefully…), the Maggot Melt Sandwich found at the California State and Arizona State Fairs. Unfortunately, it’s exactly what it sounds like (we really don’t want to describe it further…) and is part of why we said goodbye to the West Coast.
WTFs
Madness Level: Nicolas Cage
You knew it was only a matter of time before we got to the deep fat fried stuff. And you know we’re not talking about fried chicken or fish. We’re talking about the deep fried abominations. There’s no rhyme or reason for this kind of madness, it simply exists. To be fair, it all started relatively tame (“relatively” being the key word). Deep fried Oreos? Sure, and give me a scoop of ice cream while you’re at it! Deep fried Jelly Beans? No, thank you… Deep fried peanut butter-stuffed pickle? AHHH, please stop talking to me!!! Then some carnies went off the rails when it was no longer enough to simply deep fry solid food. First came deep fried jello… Then came deep fried Kool-Aid, pepsi, and beer… Don’t ask us how that even works, we’re sure it’s some kind of ancient sorcery. The unfortunate natural conclusion to this madness, at the extreme end of the spectrum, is the deep fried butter! But don’t worry, you can always throw a bit of healthiness back into the mix with deep fried watermelon.
Well, that got our appetite going, so until next time!
Keep sizzling!
Eric and Sophie